ATHEIST writer Kurt Vonnegut Jr once created a character, allegedly based on Hemingway, for his play Happy Birthday, Wanda June. In it, the sexist buffoon Harold comes out with the following line:
Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch. Everything stops.
I burst out laughing when I first read that quote way back in the early 1970s … and spent several guilty hours after regretting my mirth. But then I decided to adapt it to suit my own worldview:
Religiously educating a person is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch …
To support my case, I give you Stephen Green, head of a fundamentalist Christian outfit called Christian Voice.
Green is by no means a stupid man, but Christianity has so warped him that his pronouncements – and his extreme hatred of homosexuality – have made him a national figure of fun.
Today, for example, the clown claims on his blog that a pathetic little prayer-fest he organised against UK supermarket giant Tesco had brought God’s wrath down on the company, causing it to suffer a serious Christmas slump.
The demented fundie called on God to smite Tesco because Tesco announced a £30,000 donation to:
The divisive, depraved London ‘Gay Pride’ … with all its anti-Christian aggression, indecency, immorality and separatism.
We … prayed for confusion in the Tesco boardroom. As the ‘Big Price Drop’ was launched in September, it seems that Almighty God, who operates outside space and time, was well ahead of us, anticipating our prayers, and seeing by our actions that our prayers were serious. Significantly, we prayed for a drop in their share price, which, with £3b erased from the value of Tesco, has been answered on what you could describe as a Biblical scale.
The “honey” of religion sure as hell messed up the workings of Green’s brain – and reportedly turned him into a monstrous, abusive wife-beater.
Hat tip: Robert Stovold